Why I Like Knitting

I had one of those frustrating starts to a project today (blueberry hat). I cast on, and realized after the first round that I hadn't cast on enough stitches (my head-math was off). So, I pulled it off. Then I thought, hey, I haven't used the long-tail c/o in a while, why don't I do that? I did, and it was so twisty! I am knitting these hats using the Magic Loop technique, and I've never had trouble joining the round, and this one was all twisted. So, I pulled that out, cast on my usual way, and joined and started knitting.

I love knitting for many reasons. I love using my hands to create. I love seeing the progress as I chug along. I love making useful things, some of which are beautiful, or at least, not bad. I've always loved crafts, and I used to cross-stitch, but this is better for me right now. Also, knitting challenges me, in some really wonderful ways. It challenges my perfectionism, and gives me practice in learning how to decide when to live with a mistake and when to pull it out and start over. I've struggled with perfectionism a long time, and my knitting really does make me think "Is this okay? Is it good enough?" Sometimes the answer is no, and it needs to be redone, but sometimes, surprisingly, the answer is yes! It's not perfect, but it's good enough. Knitting allows me to not be perfect (or even, at times, all that good) at something, and yet still enjoy it.

Knitting also calms my anxious mind. It gives me a focus for my hands and head, so that I can stop thinking quite so much. Or rather, my mind can become so full of what I'm doing, that there's not room for all the anxious chatter my mind creates, so I get some respite. This is a gift. Part of me wishes that I had the time and space and energy in my life to have a serious yoga and meditative practice. I don't right now, and that's okay. But, knitting allows me that time and space, and helps me with the practice of being. I am a head person, an (over)thinker, an (over)planner. I spend far more time that I'd like living in the future or the past. When I'm caught up in knitting, I can just be, right here, right now. It doesn't always work, of course, but when it does, it's quite wonderful.

I've done very little knitting for myself - a couple of scarves, a hat and one sock. Mainly I've knit for my children and other people's children. There's something really special to me about seeing my sons in things I have made them. As I knit these hats for the NICU, I try to project the love I feel for my wonderful boys onto them. It sounds a little crazy, but I want to think of these hats as another piece of love that these little babies could carry with them. They and their families probably need all the love they can get.