Friday, February 12, 2010

365-69: No crass jokes here...

...I'm too tired. We've all had a massive cold which turned into an ear infection for the baby, so no one is sleeping much. I'm hoping we've turned the corner. I don't like myself so much when I'm this tired. Or rather, I don't like that the aspects of myself that are areas for growth (aka "flaws") come out in force. I'm just impatient, more crabby. My oldest is a very spirited child and we clash. He can push my buttons and it's hard to remember sometimes that I'm the grownup here. Today I bought myself a reminder. It's a bracelet with a freshwater pearl and a small silver charm. On one side is a dove, on the other, the word "faith". For some reason, it *called* to me. Even though the cord is blue, and I'm a purple/green kind of woman. I'm not quite sure why it resonated for me but it did. I want to use it as a reminder: to be the person I want to be, I must choose to act the way that person would act, especially in the hardest moments. I already have. I want to believe that when I need it, and ask for it, help will be offered. Is that faith?Faith in what?

Today I am grateful for the chance to ask the questions.

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1 comment:

Beth said...

Hey Lissie, I'm glad to hear you turn crabby with no sleep too! Makes me feel better about the times I've lost it with Matthew when I've been so tired I hurt.