Sunday, September 30, 2012

Moving On and Letting Go

I won't even apologize for my silence this time!  I want to be blogging more, but words have been fewer for me, which is weird.  Until recently.

So, I've made a decision - I am going to try my hand at the photography business thing.  I realized - what is the absolute worst thing that can happen?  It's not just failing - God knows, I've failed in my life, but it's people knowing that I reached for a dream and didn't succeed.  And really?  That's the worst thing??  That's not only not bad, it's very livable for me.  And the funny thing, once I made the decision to DO this, I've gotten momentum on a whole bunch of other projects.

The big one is really trying to make our home *work* for me.  I go crazy sometimes because I feel like there's no space here that's JUST mine.  I share my bed, my bathroom, my room, my whole house.  So, in deciding to actually try and build a business, I need a dedicated space in which to conduct that business.  So, it turns out, the first step on that path my room. :)  No, really!

Our house is contemporary cape, meaning we have our master BR on the 1st floor, off the big open living space, and there are two ginormous rooms upstairs.  One has all the kids in it, the other is a combination office-play-room-dumping ground.  I had clutter all over my room, so this week, I really worked hard and got it cleaned up.  DH did his dressers too.  There's still STUFF of course, I have a bunch of stuff to donate, but it's all organized.  Next step - PAINT THE ROOM!  It's an antique linen right now, and I want it sage green.  I have an awesome friend who's going to help me do that. Next step - IKEA!  I'm getting an Expedit to organize and contain all my craft stuff.  It will have the desk, so I'll have somewhere to set up my sewing machines!  Part of consolidation is PURGING.  If it doesn't fit in the space I have allocated, it has to go.   I will finally have a place for all of MY stuff!

So, today, DH and I dealt with the books...we had 11 bankers boxes of books in storage plus way way too many out.  So we purged!  I have 3 boxes to go back to my sister, 13 to be donated, a big bag of recycling and a big box of trash.  This is something I've been "meaning" to do for...about 5 years now.  It feels, actually, like a really big deal.  I got rid of pretty much all of my eating disorder books. I got rid of almost all of my text books, pretty much all of my never-used self-help books, lots of junk.  

Getting rid of books is a really big deal for me.  Now, I have many, many books that are like old friends for me, they're comfort.  I kept some books that I may likely never read again, but that changed my life. We still have PLENTY of books, don't get me wrong, it's just the old and outdated that I'm finally letting go!  As I was sorting, I said to DH, "it feels sort of like I'm letting go of my identity as a psychologist."  It feels like I am shedding so much weight from the past, in order to make room for the new!

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