Thursday, September 18, 2008

New Directions?

I love Fall. From all my years of academia, it always, always feels like the start of a new year for me. The excitement, the possibilities. There's a bite in the air in the morning and evening, I'm breaking out the jeans and long sleeve t-shirts (my mommy uniform). Both boys started at a new preschool (DS1 goes M/W/F and DS2 goes T/Th, and this is his first school experience!). DD has woken up and is just *so* fun and lovely. It's not to say everything is perfect - we've all got the first cold of the season (which will last until next May), DD was on a sleep path to hell (waking every hour), and I've been feeling overwhelmed. But, I managed to get some things done today that have been nagging at me, so I'm feeling a bit more in control. Tomorrow is Friday, a day I like. I get my trashy mags on Fridays. I've got a weekend to look forward too, I can relax a bit. We've not got much planned for tomorrow, so maybe I'll even get some cleaning done, or catch up on laundry. MAYBE.

My knitting is in a bit of a slump. I feel the siren call of startitis, and I'm trying not to succumb. I don't have a ton on needles right now - I've got about 20 more rows of BYOB plus attaching the handles and finishing it. I'm half-way through the ruffle hem of DD's sweater (with a small error that's ANNOYING me but I'm just going to learn to live with it). I've got a sock to finish, and another sock to do. I bought some very cute shoes today, which are just *calling out* for handmade socks, don't you think? My poor Monkeys are carrying most of the burden themselves right now, and I've so much sock yarn to knit. So, why is it that I've turned my strong obsessional powers to other things?

I've been thinking a lot about the "purpose" part of Knitting with a Purpose. At first, the purpose meant service, specifically the NICU donation hats. But, that's dropped by the wayside for now. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am loyal. Intensely loyal. This is both one of my character strengths and flaws. I've been known to give my loyalty too quickly and hold on far, far long to things and relationships. Far longer than any healthy person should. I do believe that it's important to be loyal, not to give up when the going gets rough, but loyalty should also be measured and evaluated, not just given blindly. When I started the NICU hats, I felt that this was something I "should" be able to commit to for, oh, the rest of my life. But, things change. It's actually okay that things change. I still want to be doing some sort of crafting for service, but I think I've found something else. Once I have the supplies in hand, I'll contact the local representatives, and talk more here, but it's something that's very doable, and should be fun for me. And, I'm telling myself, it's not a lifetime commitment, it's simply something I want to explore for now. And, it's not knitting. I'm also rethinking the whole idea that "purpose" must equal service to others. My family needs and deserves my focus too. And, it's actually okay to admit that my crafting thrills and sustains *me*, outside of any other use or purpose for it. I love creating, I love the feel of the yarns, the colors and combinations, I love wearing socks I made, or wrappy my daughter in a blanket I knit. I don't think of myself as particularly creative in some ways, and it's fun to have something that is generative.

The other thing I'm trying out is more crochet-ing. Now, to be honest, most crochet stuff really doesn't do it for me. But, for some reason, I'm feeling very drawn to crocheting (and knitting, but I don't have the brain power for it right now) lace. LACE. I do believe it was in this very blog that I declared I had zero interest in doing lace. Looks like that's not true. But, the fact that I'm obsessing over crocheting (and knitting, don't forget the knitting) lace DOILIES is just plain weird. Doilies! What the hell does one DO with such a thing? I have no idea! Hasn't stopped me from starting one though.

I'm doing a Pineapple Doily that's marketed as "quick" and "easy". Yeah, if you actually know how to do this, I'm sure it is. :) The thread is size 10, the hook is weensy. It's fun! What I'm going to do with it, who knows.

No comments: