Stillness

Four years ago today, we moved to our small town in the 'burbs of Boston (well, Cambridge, really).  It was such a leap of faith, and I can't believe it's been four years!  I've got one of my bookclubs coming over tonight, I've got two others I'm involved with.  I'm not doing any group knittng at the moment, but I'm pondering starting a craft night.  I run into people I know everywhere I go in town, I have an amazing community of friends here.  This afternoon I'm sending my oldest off to a friend's house, picking up my younger son and two friends, taking one of his friends home and picking up that friend's little sister who is my daughter's good friend, bringing those four home to play...*whew* Thank goodness for the minivan!  I feel like we have a real and rich life here.  It's harder for my husband - he's not here as much simply because of work, but it's coming together for him too.  We still have friends "in the city" that we see regularly, but so much of life is HERE now.  I remember how scary it was to move, but it was so the right decision for us.  It's funny to think that barring unforseen changes in circumstanecs, most likely this is the house we'll grow old in!

So anyway, what does that have to do with stillness?  One of my friends has a sauna in her basement, and has a sauna club once a month in the winter.  I was the first one there on Wednesday, and she was getting her kids settled, so I got changed and sat for a bit by myself.  I am a busy person, often in motion, running around, doing.  Even at work, when I am sitting and listening, I am a bit fidgety, moving my hands, shifting in my seat.  And, I'm listening, actively and intently, so that's a different thing.  This was a time, 10 minutes or so, just to sit.  There's not much to do in a sauna except sit, you know?  And I realized HOW HARD that is for me to do.  I get...anxious, I guess.  My thoughts fly all over the place, I'm looking around for something to do, I just can't sit.

I'm not sure what the point of this is, other than to take notice of how busy my head is.  No wonder I'm tired!  (Well, and that my cat stomps on my head all night, that's probably part of it too.)  I love knitting and crocheting because it gives me something to do, with both my hands and my head.