Tuesday, October 05, 2010

4 years.

I just passed the anniversary of starting this blog. FOUR YEARS. Wow, I hadn't realized that it had been quite that long! It's amazing to me, looking at how my life has changed in those 4 years. 4 years ago, 2006, I was sending my just-turned-3-year-old off to his first year of preschool. I was hanging out with my 16 month old. I was mourning the loss of two very important friendships. I was cautiously reaching out and making new friends, who are still really close and important to me today. So many things have changed. I've moved out of the city to this small town, much more rural than suburban, and I love it. I've made a whole new community out here. We have a house. We lost our beloved cat, we gained our new boy kitties, we've lost family members, we had a daughter. Life is so full, so rich, so *interesting*. This year I sent my 7 year old off to 1st grade, my 5 year old off to Kindergarten, and soon my 2 year old will be going to preschool! It's a whole different world. I think 4 years ago I was floundering in a way. My life was changing, and I'm not someone who embraces change joyfully, to say the least. It's not that there aren't changes ahead, I know there are, but life is more settled. This summer I felt like we turned a corner with our kids. My daughter started sleeping through the night (yes, at 2 years, 3 months) and while I don't think my boys will ever be *easy*, they are becoming more and more independent. I'm starting to have some breathing room, to think ahead to the next big change, of how work will fit back into my life. I have *no* idea what it's going to look like, but I think it's going to be interesting!

It's funny, October has historically been a really BAD month for me (like profound clinical depression-bad), and as September draws to a close and the light fails, I've tended to get more and more anxious and worried. It didn't even occur to me this year! We've got so much going on, with school, soccer, piano lessons, friends, and of course, the all-important Halloween-costume-planning (and on a side note, could I use anymore hyphens in this post??), that I forgot about my long-term history to focus on the here-and-now. It's not all roses, of course. There are struggles and challenges, but I do feel hopeful.

I think back on how sad, how hurt I was 4 years ago, and it seems so long ago. It always takes me a lot longer than other people to move on, but I truly think I have.

So, for the knitting and crafting, where does that leave me? I haven't moved on from that!! I've been sewing a lot lately. I made a hat and mittens set for our preschool auction. Technically we're not actually there right now, but we're still a part of the community, and I decided against knitting this year - too time-consuming. If I can find the time, I'll make another set. I have a hat made for a friend, and two hats for my daughter for this year, and I need to make the coordinating mittens. My younger son got really sad and wanted a hat and mittens as well, so I'll be making those. Green, of course, because it's his favorite color! I taught another friend to knit yesterday, and I'm hoping the bug will catch for her! I want to finish my Noro scarf, and then I may just put all my projects aside and start something new. As I keep reminding myself - knitting is my *hobby*, not my job, so I need to be enjoying it!! No one's grading me or can tell me how to do it. :)

I guess this is just a long-winded way of saying in spite of some of the hard things going on, I'm feeling optimistic today!

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