Change is good, right?

I'm definitely in a period of transition. I had an interesting dream the other night. I dreamed I was at some weekend thing at Kripalu, though for some reason I was camping out. I was supposed to meet up with some people but they didn't show, so I missed the whole event, sitting around feeling twisted up and sad and angry and rejected. As I thought about this dream, it seems very interesting and relevant to where I'm at right now. Kripalu symbolizes self-focused healing and spiritual growth for me. So, in my dream, I was missing this opportunity to do something healing and nurturing for myself, because I was not just waiting around for my friends, but being stood up by them!

I have two friends that I met when our children were all very young (like, weeks). We were all intensely connected. We spent a huge amount of time together, often seeing each other twice a day, every day during the week. One of these women, S, dumped me over the summer. It's been very painful, but I'm definitely moving on. It's very hard because DS1 loved her son, and still often asks about him, even though we haven't seen them in months. The other woman, B, and I have tried to remain friends, but it's clear to me that it's ending as well. For one, her daughter really doesn't play well with my boys, and how she chooses to handle it is quite different from how I would handle it. I think that when we met, we were all very much in the same place with how we parented, but things have changed. For one, I've had second child (20 months younger than my first), and having two so close together changes everything. S, as far as I know, doesn't want another, and B is struggling with secondary infertility. We are just in different places, B and I, and I don't think the friendship is going to survive it, certainly not in the form that it had. I feel both sad, and relieved about this.

I tend to be extremely loyal, to the point where I struggle tremendously with change and with letting go. But this is an okay letting go. I feel like I can let her go with love. Maybe some day we can be friends again, but it doesn't work now. The fact that I can accept that fairly easily is huge.

I am not religious, but I am spiritual, at least, I am spiritually seeking. I don't know if I believe in God (god), but I do believe in what I call the universe. I believe that when I am moving in the right direction, my path is easier. Not without work, I'm not sure there's anything valuable without work, but rather, things fall into place. I feel like the message I'm getting from the universe right now is Clean Your House. Clear out the clutter, let go of the old, stale things that no longer work, sweep out the corners, and make room for the new!