Domestic Goddess...not so much.

When I was in college, approximately eleventy-billion years ago, I had this t-shirt with a very frazzled woman on it with the caption "Domestic Goddess."  All you had to do was visit my room to know that I was not, in fact, such a goddess.  My lack of domestic goddesshood extends to cooking.  I'm not a fabulous cook, I don't love to cook all that much, and I have historically been extremely picky about food, what with the whole disordered eating thing.  As I've gotten older, healthier, some might even say, recovered, that's gotten better.  But it's still a challenge, and now I'm feeding lots of other people.  

I've been in SUCH a rut with food.  Almost every night, except when we order pizza, I feel like "OH MAN!! DIDN'T THESE PEOPLE EAT YESTERDAY???"  To cook dinner every night for everyone is a chore.  So, with this new eating (DAY 1 today, yay!) persepctive on eating, all of a sudden, I'm feeling really reenergized about cooking new things, and trying new things.  My DH is happy as he's a much better cook and much more adeventurous eater than I, but due to life circumstances, he eats what I make for dinner.  I'm trying to view this as retraining my palate.  This plan on I'm on sends me a weekly menu (and shopping list, how helpful is that?!), and I'm excited for the different things.  I'm not doing it exactly - for example, today I forgot to defrost anything but I had a quarter ham from TJ's in the fridge, so I made Thursday's Butternut Squash with Garlic and Thyme tonight (SOOO GOOD), with ham, and whole wheat noodles for the rest of the family.  Tomorrow is going to be vegetable-turkey meatballs, and something else - maybe a big salad?  

I have *no* idea where I'm going with any of this.  It's not that I think I'm going to sustain a gluten-free/dairy-free life, but I'm committed to trying this for 30 days.  Yes, over Christmas, aren't I smart? :)  I'll just do the best I can. I figure by the time Christmas rolls around, I'll have been doing it long enough (almost 4 weeks) to get a sense of whether or not I'm feeling better, which will help propel me through visiting my in-laws after Christmas.

And in other news, I knit an inch on my sock.

Pondering Change

When I have a minute, I'll take some pictures and post them of the blanket I finished for my friend's new baby!  YES! I finished something!!!  It's amazing.  :)

So, I'm embarking on an experiment, starting tonight.  I feel like the Universe and my gut (perhaps literally) are pushing me to try making some changes to my diet.  I don't want to.  I *really* don't want to, but I'm frustrated with where things are for me, and how I'm feeling, and that's pretty much what I have left to try.  Food is...tricky for me. I've been adamant for many years that my recovery from my eating disorder required me to be able to eat WHAT I WANTED WHEN I WANTED IT!  And, I don't think I was wrong.  Food was so - what's the right word - MORALIZED for me, it was either GOOD or BAD, and by extension, so was I, that I had to make it all good, make it all okay.  However, I'm starting to do a bunch of reading on different topics, and decided that I want to try eating a gluten-free, dairy-free diet for a bit to see if that would help.  I am *so* resistant to this.  I lovelovelove bread, and cheese? Well, cheese makes life worth living, right?  I love cheese.  BUT, I can't ignore the signs.  It's also something I feel like I can take charge of, right now, and what's the worst that could happen? I might not feel any differently than I do now, and I don't keep it up.  I'm committed to trying it for a month.  Yes, right before the holidays, isn't that so smart of me?! :)  I figure there's probably some detoxing involved, but I've done the Master Cleanse (twice), so I know I can handle that.

I'm following someone else's plan for now.  I really need (and love) structure, so I've found a site that will tell me every week - buy this, cook this, and eat it.  I figure if it works for me, after a few months, I'll have more confidence and more repitoire, and I can branch out.  I'd like to get my oldest on a GFCF diet as well, but I'm not sure I can fight the battle right now.

So, I've got the meal plan for the week, I've done the shopping, and I'm going to try!  Tonight's dinner: baked salmon with rosemary and pecans, and creamy swiss chard.  Sounds good, doesn't it??

Whoa, hello blog.

Okay, somehow almost 2 months went by.  I wish I had something interesting to blog about, especially something crafty.  I don't.

There's a lot going on here. I've been having some health struggles, and I've finally admitted them, and I'm working on getting some help.  Everything should be okay - there's a few different things going on.  One should be corrected with a small surgery next month, and I'm doing more testing to figure out the rest, but we've got a direction, and I found a doctor who actually, you know, listened to me and took me seriously when I said I didn't feel right.  The problem is that this stuff is making me so tired that I can barely function.

The big thing I'm working on right now is evaluating, and then acting upon those evaluations, where, truly, I want to be putting my time and limited energy.  I'm working on saying No, and taking responsibility for what I can and cannot do.  I'm working on jettisoning the guilt that says I should be prioritizing volunteer work that I don't enjoy over social stuff that I do enjoy.  I miss creating and crafting. I'm looking at photo editing software and getting excited about doing a photography class or two next year (if I'm feeling better then).  I miss knitting and sewing.  I've got plans, all these plans, but not a ton of time and, again, no energy.

One of my big things I want to do is finally create a crafting space in my home for my stuff.  It doesn't have a home so it's a huge mess, and disorganized, and crazy-making for all involved!  I need organization for sewing stuff, including a sewing table, yarn and knitting, and some needlework stuff I still have hanging around.  Right now we have an office/playroom that's a disaster and the kids' room.  I am going to consolidate all the kids' stuff into one room (yes they all share!) and turn the other room into an office craft room.  I'm thinking about this unit with a desk and storage baskets.  Can't you just picture it??  So exciting!

Anyway, so that's it here.  Tired.  Lots of stress, my husband's company is being acquired which may or may not be a good thing.  I want to be blogging more regularly! I'll work on it. How about I finish something so I can show you?